The Passion Revelation
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: Spoilers for "The Closure Alternative." Penny and Bernadette are trying to figure out what she is passionate about. The way Penny gets to her answer is the fanfiction. The answer itself is true to canon. Penny/Bernadette appear, mentions of Penny/Leonard.


**This picks up with Penny and Bernadette trying to figure out what Penny's passionate about, because I loved this, and wanted to elaborate on it. How much justice I did it is widely debatable, but this is my best attempt.**

"So my quest to discover what I'm passionate about," Penny said. "Starts here. And hopefully ends here." She yawned. "It's my day off, I don't want to work too hard."

"Well, there's your job itself…" Bernadette started.

"Are we going to be serious about this or are you going to keep moonlighting as a comedian?" Penny said.

"Well, what are your favorite things?" Bernadette said. "Just name them."

"Well, there's music," Penny said. "I like music, but I've never, you know, waited outside a store for an album release, or made posters for concerts, or downloaded all seven covers of a specific song. The only time I can think of that I did anything music related that even begins to measure up to what Leonard does about his passions was when he was waiting in line for some famous cellist that was coming to do a show in L.A., Leonard hadn't slept in more than a day because of work, and he was absolutely crying for rest so I came out and took his place in line while he went home for a nap."

"Okay," Bernadette said. "Anything television related? You like the Kardashians."

"Yeah, but I watch them once and I'm fine. I record stuff on Leonard and Sheldon's DVR, watch it once, and let them delete it. I don't have to save anything."

"Why don't you download them to your computer?" Bernadette asked. "That's how lots of people watch T.V. now."

"My harddrive is full," Penny said. "I saw all this Star Wars extra features and stuff that I downloaded in case Leonard wanted to watch it. He's probably seen it all already, but I figured it was worth a shot. Though I probably should have asked first if he wanted any of it so I didn't have to stick by my computer for eight hours making sure it didn't sleep on me."

"Eight hours?" Bernadette said incredulously. "What were you downloading, them videotaping George Takei handwriting the whole thing?"

"Lucas," Penny corrected her. "George Lucas. George Takei was in Star Trek."

Bernadette blinked. "I don't care."

"Sorry." Penny sighed. "It's just something that sticks with me since Leonard talks about it so much. So no to job, no to music, no to television. I don't play a sport – cheerleading was always something I just did because I felt everyone thought I should – and I don't get excited about science or math."

"You seemed pretty into it back in October," Bernadette teased.

"Well, the stuff that Leonard showed me was really cool," Penny said, "but a large part of that was me watching the way he gets when he's excited about stuff. He…he just has this look in his eyes, they're shining, they're almost saying all he wants to say themselves, and he just has this look of wonder, like he understands it, but that doesn't mean he's not mesmerized by it. He notices every detail. When he's talking about something, the way he describes it shows how much he knows about it and how much he pays attention to it, but it also seems like he's experiencing it for the first time. I can tell when he has that fire. I recognize the look in his eyes." She stopped and shook her head. "I don't have anything like that. I don't have anything that seeps into my conversation, no matter what we're talking about. I don't have anything that I seem like a refreshed, new person when I talk about it."

Bernadette had been watching her intently, and then a small smile came over her face. "I think you do," she said quietly.

Penny looked at her, confused. "I do?"

"Sure," Bernadette said. "Sure you do. Having that fire doesn't have to be about fiction, you know. You can feel that way for anything, or anyone, that has anything to do with your life. If there's always something you think of right when you wake up, or right when you go to bed, and your favorite part of the day is when that something is involved, then that's what you're passionate about. It's as simple as that."

"I can tell you what I thought about going to bed last night," Penny said. "It was so stupid. You know how in The Lion King, they needed a diversion to get by the hyenas, and Timone goes 'what do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?' Well, Leonard was sleeping at his apartment because Sheldon thought there was some insect in his room and I stayed over here, and of course I couldn't sleep, so I started thinking about how if Leonard was here, he'd stay up and joke around with me, and somehow I got to hearing him say 'what do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?' and that just seemed like the funniest thing ever to me, so then of course I couldn't sleep because I was laughing about it." She shrugged. "But I'm not passionate about that meerkat thing. I never think about that."

"Do you know what a common denominator is?" Bernadette asked.

"Yeah," Penny said. "Why?"

She shrugged. "No reason. I gotta go, Howard's mother is expecting me for dinner."

"Okay," Penny said. "I'm making Leonard spaghetti. I always make him spaghetti. Maybe I'm passionate about spaghetti."

"Maybe," Bernadette said, heading toward the door.

Penny sighed as she moved to the kitchen. She wasn't passionate about spaghetti. She wasn't passionate about music, or television, or sports or academics or food in general. The only time she put a lot of effort into something is because she wanted to surprise Leonard, or make her more able to have conversations with Leonard, or to help Leonard out.

A photograph fell off of her fridge as she opened it, and Penny bent to pick it up. It was her and Leonard at her play, her still in costume, but her arms thrown around his neck. He was holding her close at the waist, and they both had big grins on their faces. She smiled as she remembered that moment – how the room smelled, how cold it was, how the toe of her foot overlapped with Leonard's shoe as they stood close to one another, how when they'd touched, the static from the carpet in the hallway created a spark.

She remembered every detail from that one photograph, every little piece of that night came to life as she looked at it. This was what she was talking about. This was the kind of feeling that she wanted to have. But she knew she wasn't passionate about photography.

She was fondly adjusting the other pictures of herself and Leonard when she realized why Bernadette had mentioned a common denominator.

Each of the stories she'd told Bernadette had one very important thing in common.

Her jaw dropped slightly, like it had the last time she realized something big, and she pulled one of the pictures off the door, one of her and Leonard – her barefoot, him squeaking his shoes on the wooden floor – dancing at their cocktail party. She remembered this moment just as clearly. Howard had teased Leonard on his dancing abilities, and she, still twirling around with him, not taking her eyes off of him, began to tell Howard and Bernadette about the time she'd taken him out dancing at a club she'd frequented before they'd dated the first time. Leonard had feigned absolute horror at her telling that story, and she ended up laughing too much at his supposed terror to actually be able to tell the story. Penny smiled fondly as she remembered that night, and shook her head slightly, not understanding why she hadn't seen this before. How she hadn't realized that she _had_ spent hours in a line in the rain - not because she cared about the cellist, but because she cared about Leonard. She used up her laptop's harddrive not because she wanted the Star Wars footage, but because Leonard did. All the guys were passionate about their jobs, and all of them had, at one point or another, tried to help her understand what their jobs were and what sort of things they were talking about. But it never stuck with her unless Leonard told her. Because it was he himself that made her want to know more.

If there was any remaining doubt that Leonard gave her that fire, reliving the picture in her hand swept that doubt away. And not just because, like the other one, she remembered every detail. Not just because she ended up talking about Leonard in every subject she and Bernadette covered.

It was because, for the first time, she could see that oh so recognizable look in her own eyes, whenever Leonard was around.

**I know Penny had a greater epiphany relating to how great her life is as a whole, but I chose to cut this off before she progressed to that point – she would have had I continued it, but I wanted to make this just a Leonard and Penny oneshot. It's currently 1:40 in the morning, so if this is absolutely crazy…blame the time. This is what I am in the darkness of the night. :P**


End file.
